We would like to announce that we have written a book, which details our painful journey as part of the reality-show-filming Duggar family.
As the picture on the cover conveys, the book is meant to reflect a story that has been difficult, yet hopeful. The challenges we have faced, including lack of respect for boundaries, greed, manipulation, and betrayal, are not that much different than what many people in our audience have faced. However, 15+ years of reality television, undergirded by secrecy and lies, is tantamount to pouring gasoline on the fire of our struggle.
Thanks to time, tears, truth, and therapy, God has begun to heal our wounds into scars. Though we would have never chosen this path, and it has cost us dearly, we want to use our voice to show others that there is hope beyond the pain.
Our book, will be out in the world soon!
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I want to applaud you for your bravery. I can only imagine the stress and emotional toll writing this book took. I will continue to pray for you and your family and you continue your journey of healing. As a pastor, my heart always hurts when I come across stories such as yours where manmade doctrine corrupts and damages individuals, all using the name of God to do it.
So proud of you!! Cannot wait to read it!!
Sooo incredibly proud of you! You’ve overcome so much and made a wonderful home for your family! It’s amazing what actual love and support can do. I cannot wait to read your book!!!
Do you realize how many people you hurting by writing this book. Do you need the attention? Low on money? You still have younger siblings at home, don’t you worry that they will be hurt! Of course not! If you have a problem with your parent, then discuss it with them! Don’t bring the public into it. Remember the ten commandments, Honor your father and mother! That’s it, nothing else added to it! You and Ginger are sad people along with your husbands! I do hope that when your children are grown, they can say, you were perfect parents! Oh wait!!!! there was one perfect man in our world and that was Jesus and they crucified him, just like you are doing to your parents! Sad!
Did you read Jinger’s book? She was very honoring of her childhood and her parents.
What is sad is turning a blind eye to the abuse they endured, and watched it be covered up. That’s what is sad. Parents have a duty to protect their children, and they did not do that. The Bible talks about having a stone around someone’s neck, if they harm kids. Or maybe you forgot that part???
Shame on you, Nancy.
I’m sorry you felt the need to blatantly imply Jill is guilty of causing pain to her siblings because she’s broke or needs attention.
One day Jill’s siblings may pick up her book and consider for themselves that her own experiences within the family mirror their own. The suffering, humiliation, and rejection she experiences at the hands of her father, mother , brother and false teachings of the IBLP will hopefully heal and staunch the flow of emotions that can destroy the spirit of someone who needs to read her words.
Her parents have brought on and perpetuated their own pain by their own actions, not those of Jill and Derick. They need to own their own repercussions and don’t need you to point the finger at anyone but them. Consequences are a reaction of one’s actions. This memoir falls at the feet of Jimbob and Michelle.
Have you read Jinger’s book? I’m assuming not, but her parents are rarely mentioned in the book. Jinger’s book is instead centered around protecting people from a doctrine that pulled people away from the teachings of the Bible and encouraging them to follow what the Bible actually teaches. She is very respectful of her parents in the book.
These 2 women had different journeys, and while respect is important, finding and living your own truth is more important.
I like how you’re choosing to leave out the part in the bible that talks about separating yourself from your parents to become one with your husband. It’s mentioned in both old and New Testament.
What a horrible thing to put out there hate much.???? And you probably call yourself a Christian lol
I applaud this couple for coming forward with the TRUTH! God bless them and their children. The healing process of telling the TRUTH is courageous! They have not dishonored anyone, including her parents!
The abuse and exploitation that was inflicted upon this courageous young woman , words cannot convey how heart breaking it was. She has taken control back with writing this book.
The negative words written by “ Nancy Guy” should be completely ignored. The sounds of them ring familiar of the anonymous text sent to Derrick a while back.
God bless you and your family! Please DO NOT let the words of a few chuckle heads stop you from moving forward.
Dear IBLP Cult member, I’m sure Jill has tried to reconcile with her parents. Her parents hurt her and many others within this cult. To diminish a victim is very despicable of you. We lived this life, we have our stories that deserve to be told. It’s part of the healing process from this abusive organization. So please keep your opinions to yourself and stop throwing victims under the bus. This is not for attention. Jill is going to help MANY women and I am filled with hope because of this announcement of their book. I cannot wait to read!!
Dear IBLP Cult member, I’m sure Jill has tried to reconcile with her parents. Her parents hurt her and many others within this cult. To diminish a victim is very despicable of you. We lived this life, we have our stories that deserve to be told. It’s part of the healing process from this abusive organization. So please keep your opinions to yourself and stop throwing victims under the bus. This is not for attention. Jill is going to help MANY women and I am filled with hope because of this announcement of their book. I cannot wait to read!! Jill keep speaking out we all appreciate you!
Nancy – Jill’s parents put her in the public along with her 19 siblings long before they had any say in it. It’s important for people have been abused and exploited to be able to talk about it. Sickness grows in the darkness.
This admirable and God-loving woman has been through so much, that I believe you are wrong to criticize her at this point. Her parents misrepresented the Lord in their upbringing of their children. Furthermore, the father used and manipulated his children to do his bidding…how difficult for his children, in retrospect, to respect him. Jill has married a Godly man, who ironically was chosen for Jill by her father. He was the best man for her and together they have figured out how to move beyond the emotional and physical abuse she was raised under. I am proud of her for maintaining her faith in Jesus, in spite of her trauma and the mistrust her father has earned!
Nancy, it’s more honorable to tell the truth, than play along with the lies your father is telling the world. Obviously you believe lies are o.k. Thats not wat the bible tells us. The truth will set free! So in fact, maybe Jill is-indirectly- setting her father free, by uncovering his web of lies… And hopefully he will repent someday and ask the Lord for forgiveness, because he abused His Name for his own ego… I think Jill is doing the most honorable thing a good daughter could do… Don’t you?
She is entitled to speak about the negatives of her upbringing just as you are entitled to speak about the positives of her upbringing.
You also need to be fully aware that her parents are still affliated to an organisationt that is bringing reproach to christianity by embracing man made legalistic rules that have resulted in people being hurt and abused. Therefore it is her parents who are hurting the younger siblings by being involved in a cult lead by a predator not JIll. It is her parents who are surrounding themselves with people who are perverted as well in order to protect their own reputations. Those children are at risk from those people not from Jill. Nearly everyone who her parents have been affliated with have a history of deviancy. But hey, I guess you are fine with paedophile enabling people abusing and mistreating children and their spouses and their victims keeping their mouths shut, so that you can continue your white washed sepulchres with dead bones walk with Christ and make non believers believe that you are holy.
As for your honour your father and mother retoric, well by your standards, Jonathan never honoured his father Saul by defending David who did no wrong and didn’t the bible say that parents must not provoke their children to wrath! also I believe that Jill has practised Matthew 18:15-17 and Romans 5:10-11.
Instead of victim shaming and blaming, why don’t you actually get of your legalistic soap box and offer some sympathy and support instead of sticking up for people who refuse to repent and apologise for the harm that they have done to their child. We are suppose to offer comfort to hurt people not throw battery acid onto their wounds.
Judge much??
So don’t read the book. Easy peasy!
Not Peace, but a Sword
Matthew 10: 34 “Do not think that I have come to bring peace to the earth. I have not come to bring peace, but a sword. 35 For I have come to set a man against his father, and a daughter against her mother, and a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law. 36 And a person’s enemies will be those of his own household. 37 Whoever loves father or mother more than me is not worthy of me, and whoever loves son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me. 38 And whoever does not take his cross and follow me is not worthy of me. 39 Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it.
Nancy Guy:
The only people who shame and discourage victims of abuse for speaking out publicly are those who are abusers or enablers of abusers. The only people who do it under the guise of God’s word and Christian teaching are fake Christians who use religious doctrine as a tool to bully and abuse others. These people often cherry-pick the bible and preach honouring mothers and fathers while ignoring the other biblical instructions such as not rising their children to anger, what God brings together (in marriage) let no man put asunder, cleave to your husbands and wives leaving your parents, and separating yourselves from those in the church pretending to be Christians but not loving as such (not separating from the world because (it reads) that would mean leaving the world). The bible also instructs sinners to confess their sins publicly not cover them up. That is the only response that you deserve after further victimizing a victim of abuse.
Addressing other readers (and hopefully Jill): For victims of abuse, it can be incredibly important to share their stories publicly not only for their own healing after being silenced throughout their traumatic experience, but for other victims who need validation, support, encouragement and knowledge. Some people are going through something similar to what Jill did and might not be fully aware of the manipulation and abuse their aggressor is attacking them with. For those people, Jill’s story could be the first step to save their well-being and maybe their lives. Jill, I watched you grow up on TV, not because I believed your father or the producers, but because I liked you kids and enjoyed seeing you and your siblings grow up. (I often remarked on suspicions I felt about your father and brother because I could see something wasn’t right). Stay strong. You are a good person. You married a good man and you have a beautiful family, spirit and heart. I am also recovering from abuse and dysfunction but it took me until my 40s and my father passing away to fully grasp what happened and find the courage to finally say no more. Blessings to you.
I am not sure who you are, but you obviously did not live the life that these young ladies have lived. These young women have been through a lot of trauma. They had a brother who abused them and was protected by their dad. Honestly I can’t figure out why you have such anger or frustration or hostility toward either of them. You need to find some peace in your own life and realize that these young women are speaking their truth not your truth but their truth. If it’s too uncomfortable for you to read these books then don’t but don’t leave nasty comments. There’s a great saying in the Bible don’t remove the speck in your neighbor’s Eye when there’s a log lodged in your own.
Hey Nancy Guy, Do you realize how many people were hurt by the filming of this show? Did Jim Bob need the attention? Was he low on money? Because Jill sure wasn’t being paid. Because of people like you chiming in and being ignorant and others who took advantage of her (and the other siblings), I hope Jill and Derick make MORE ON THIS BOOK than Jim Bob ever made off of the two of them. If you are truly worried about the younger siblings left at home, why don’t you read the book? You do watch the news, right? You saw the court case and what went on. I notice you conveniently leave out the elephant in the room who is sitting behind bars. Aren’t you concerned about what took place behind closed doors? Should parents who look the other way be honored? Jill mentions in her book being thankful for things her parents did for her and her book was written respectfully. She’s simply telling her story which deserves to be told. “Pops” didn’t think twice about putting their story on TV, so why shouldn’t Jill tell hers? Pops also didn’t think twice about trying to swindle his kids. Your post is worded with heaps of guilt, almost like the siblings/family were encouraged to do to Jill by Jim Bob. Who are you Nancy Guy? Possibly posting on behalf of Pops? Thinking that the guilt and condemnation that controlled Jill for years will work now? Shame on you. You need to repent. Jill did try to discuss her problems with her parents. “Don’t bring the public into it” ?? Oh okay. Jim Bob started it when he farmed his family out and basically sold his kids into filming with his one-sided contracts. You don’t even spell Jinger’s name right. You are a very poor representative of Christ. I hope your own guilt keeps you awake at night until you truly repent and find the Lord. Shame on you.
This is really disrespectful to your parents and I for one think this makes you look bad.
Good for you!
(trivial sidenote: you guys needs to update your main blog photo and the description, “parents of 2 boys,” since your 3rd lil guy came along. ❤️)
Will there be an audiobook?
Bless you and your family. Always cherish the love you have found despite the challenges. For yourself and your family and future please focus on the love and forgiveness and imagine the very best for your family (even those in your birth family who did not do right by you or the Lord), don’t let that energy keep you imprisoned in the past. Remember what frees you is “forgive them for they know not what they do over and over… 70 x 7… meaning forever.” 🙂
This isn’t for them so much as it is for you because forgiveness frees you. I was imprisoned by reliving the memories of what happened to me in my family in my childhood into adulthood, and it wasn’t until I was over 50 that I discovered I was imprisoning myself by reliving those painful memories over and over by remembering them. Because remembering them brings them into the now moment where they are as fresh and painful as when we first experienced them.
Letting others know about what you went through is important and I admire you so much for having the courage to share this so others can learn from it, but don’t let that keep you from moving on to the wonder that is life. I know indoctrination and I could not seek professional therapy because it would have been used against me in a court to try to remove my children from me (this was in the 90s). I support your bravery and courage in exposing this for others to learn from and I empathize deeply with what you must have suffered. Please don’t allow this dark cloud you lived under for the start of your life to keep you from moving into the full light and love always available.
You are the temple built without hands. The Lord is closer than hands and feet, and that means so is love, because God is, as you know, love… unconditional love. And lots of men (people) mess up the message, but inside you God is there in the silence, a balm against every transgression in existence. Forgiveness is forgetting. Not what we are taught traditionally, but forgiveness is a forgetting. A true forgiveness means the thought of what was done no longer moves you emotionally. Not so that we can be hurt again, but a belief that nothing can harm us as we live our days in the light of God’s love and turn from everything unlike the Lord. Not ignore it, but forgiving it because those who continue because they don’t know what they are doing are lost and cannot hurt us unless we allow them to again. We don’t ever have to allow that once we are adults who understand this.
I hope this comes across as encouraging and supportive as that is how it is intended. I don’t know you, but you are three years older than my youngest daughter and I wanted to express my deep admiration at the courage you have at an age I was still clueless 🙂 God bless you and your lovely family always. 🙂
God is good. Your will come out better and with a clear walk in Faith with our Lord. Praising God that you found the truth. Prayers as you walk this journey. Prayers that your parents see truth and repair their part in the hurt you have suffer.
Jill, I want to say that I commented several years ago asking some questions about missions. I know realize that you had to leave because of the show which is just awful. I just wanted to say I’m so sorry that happened to you. We ultimately had to leave missions as well for different reasons. Thank you for being honest about your life.
Hey there. Congratulations on your story being published. First off some comments on social media about “honor your father and mother” used to negate your spiritual responsibility towards your parents, provoked me to look for a study.
I like going back the Hebrew and near eastern culture with the language to interpret scripture.
It always bugged me that parents used this biblical text to hang over kids heads as a threat.
Anyhow, this is a quick eye opening study of the original meaning of honour in Aramaic, Hebrew and Greek. It’s a far cry different than what western Christian meaning makes it.
https://www.chaimbentorah.com/2014/05/word-study-honor-fathers-mothers/
I post it so the naysayers, possibly family and friends comments and judgements don’t provoke false guilt and fear .
I will be reading your book and wish you happiness , wisdom and continuous growth learning about the goodness of God and how he has bestowed himself on us and for us. Just because he loves us.
No matter the fallout of your book from your family you have done the right thing. Don’t let those nasty little wisdom books about being a tale bearer destroy you. You are bringing light into a dark place and letting captives see a way out.
Melissa
Thank you Melissa for writing that. I was going to be less than kind to one of the “trolls” who commented. I’m looking forward to their book.
I wrote it before I read it.
So I guess this is a way tomake $$$ on your trials
Don’t read the book if it bothers you so much.
Did Jill Ccount the Cost of what rhis will mean for her relationship with her family? Just like with the Royal family, her family members will not feel comfortable around her ever again wondering how she will interpret their motives and behaviors to the press. They will never be close again. Her siblings are going to side with the parents.⁹
I’m glad you two decided to write a book. I think its good therapy for you. please don’t listen to people who don’t know what they are talking about. I think some may just be still in the Bill Gothard cult and that’s why they are angry. I will be praying for you all.
you should be ashamed! her parents surely didn’t honor their children by letting the things happen in their house and hiding it! Jill and Derek are in no way harming her siblings! if anything it’s helping protect them by telling the truth and saying not allowing it to happen again!
But the truth has set her free. why the need to shame her on here? to make you feel better? I don’t think out Lord meant Honor thy Father and mother even if it means denying the true Christ? How about the scripture that says walking away from family when standing up the right thing
So very proud of you two. May God continue to bless your little family. We stand with you.
This feels slimy and prince Harry/Megan markle-ish tbh. Nothing like Jinger’s book/media tour bc she explicitly did not speak about her family-only how Gothard church is unbiblical. And she spoke with Christian news-sources/bloggers, she dn sell the story to Amazon, and she didn’t give it such a sensationalistic title (the Docuseries). This smells like a personal hit piece attached to a 4-part “docuseries” to “Uncover the Duggar’s SUPER SECRETS!”, coincidental timing and just weirdly aggressive. Any takeaway I could’ve gotten from your book is overshadowed by this icky-revenge-ish feeling I’m getting from it all. I want to believe y’all, it’s just very odd how you’ve chosen to do this. I guess if I hated my parents I’d prob cash in too while I could.
Then don’t read the book.
My guess is she has not read this book or Jinger’s book. Unraveling your faith has nothing to do with dishonoring your parents. And I DID read Jinger’s book. It was VERY honoring and I’m sure she left a lot out so she could honor. It’s very funny to see someone upset over a book they’ve never read. It’s not even out yet!
I am so proud of you for speaking out and being truthful. It’s very hard. I know, but you are doing the right thing. God is already bringing beauty from ashes and restoring what the locust have eaten. So be strong. You have a wonderful life ahead and healing will come as God unfolds it. Bless you all.
I won’t be reading it! It should be named “Counting the Money!”
Deal privately out of honor , love & respect with family situations!
Good for you Jill and Derick! I look forward to reading your book. I have thoroughly enjoyed following your journey since you left Counting On and IBLP. As someone who grew up on the fringes of fundamentalist Christianity and IBLP, I have seen a similar path in my own life. Glad you are getting the help you need through therapy and continuing to grow in God’s Word as well as your own understanding of the world around you. You are brave. Your story will help so many others. Thank you for sharing your life with us and speaking for those who don’t have a voice.
Will the book be released as an audiobook too at some point?
Yes! 🙂
I’ve already preordered. Thank you Jill & Derrick! Very much looking forward to this book release.
Good for you both x
Have you investigated your rights under the Jacky Coogan laws? Even if Arkansas doesn’t have such a protection for minor children TLC as a production company that does business in CA might have been bound.
I certainly hope you are also considering holding TLC responsible for their part in your exploitation.
Your sibs and other children need to be protected and the way to make that happen is to hold the parties who benefited financially responsible so they won’t allow the same situation again.
I’m more sorry than I can say for what you’ve been through. I hope making things right becomes part of your healing and your mission to protect others from the same abuse.
I didn’t realize it was called Jackie Coogan law. Was there also some law or at least I believe it was a law created by a former child star from the old Danny Thomas Show to protect TV children’s finances? I don’t remember the actor’s name.
No matter what the haters will say, stay strong. You got this!
I have actually never left a comment on any personal website or blog. After watching the documentary, I just have to say how moved I am by you, your story, and your courage. You carry yourself with dignity and grace. You have my deepest respect and best wishes for you and your family as you continue on your own God given journey. You have inspired me in my own journey of healing and finding peace and for that I must thank you.
@Nancy Guy, call yourself a Christain aye? You do know that they Bible talks about not judging, right? You can tone down your self-righteousness now. You are just as much of a sinner as anyone else.
I will see your “honor parents” and raise you this, “The Bible does not specifically use the term child abuse. What the Bible does tell us is this: children have a special place in God’s heart and anyone who harms a child is inviting God’s wrath upon himself. When Jesus’ disciples tried to keep children from coming to Jesus, He rebuked them and welcomed the children to His side, saying, “Let the little children come to me and do not hinder them for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these” (Mark 10:14). Then He took the children in His arms and blessed them (verse 16). The Bible promotes child blessing, not child abuse.” Children are abused and mistreated in several different ways, all of which are abhorrent to God. The Bible prohibits child abuse in its warnings against improper anger. Too many children are the victims of angry beatings and other physical abuse as their parents take out their own anger and frustration on their children. Though some forms of physical discipline may be biblically acceptable, such discipline should never be administered in anger. ” (Works cited: https://www.gotquestions.org/child-abuse.html)
Yes, God might want us to honor are parents, but is this really making an excuse for abuse? You also reminded me how my mother’s friends attacked me after they claimed my allegations of abuse against my mom were fabricated. This is also after the fact that she abused her elderly mother. Toxic is toxic regardless of the relationship.
I see myself in Jill. I am a year older than her. I was kicked around by my mother. I can see how hesitant Jill was during this interview. My husband saw how nervous and hesitant I was when we first got together, which he says are signs of abuse. He said he could tell that I was kicked around. How much can we keep enabling abuse? Children are a gift from God, even the Duggars have said this themselves. So, why harm a gift that has been entrusted to you?
Lastly, to wrap this up, Jill, if you are reading this. I want to express how proud of you I am! I have been through the same thing myself, but not on a grand scale that you are experiencing. I know that this is not easy regardless of if you are in the public eye or not. This is a topic to not be taken lightly. The fact that you are even talking about this tells me that you are speaking the truth. Over the last couple of years, you have grown more confident and surer of yourself! I know for a fact that your healing will only continue more! I am so happy to see that you have a supportive circle around you!
Sending love and prayers,
Ashley.
P.S. You have always been my favorite Duggar!
Ashley, I’m so sorry what you went through. No child should have to experience such abuse.
Jill, you always were my favorite. I was a kid when the first special came out, and I fell for it all for years, but I could see something in you that said you were strong and had a real sense of right and wrong. I’m so glad to see you thriving and fighting for what is right. You were so well-spoken on SHP and your insight is impressive. I’ve been hoping you’d write a book for years. I’ve already pre-ordered it. I look forward to supporting you as you continue to expose the IBLP and the people who’ve engaged with it and abused their children and spouses with it.
I grew up strict ACE (School of Tomorrow) Accelerated Christian Education / Pensacola Christian College. ACE is so similar to ATI.
It has left many of us tormented…
Well into my 30’s I had night terrors from my ACE schools. One was much more “Gothard Like” than the other. The internal stress many of these kids lived with throughout their childhoods trying to be perfect may be hard to understand for many. Trying to earn all those jewels in your crown by being good or Jesus will be disappointed in you. Having to kneel before your teachers and peers to see if your skirt touched the floor and given no grace. You grew and your parents are poor so you get the 50 cent Ben Franklin 2” lace and sew it around the bottom to make do. Playing HELL sound cassettes with screeching and knashing of teeth to try to get all the little kids to ask Jesus in their hearts AGAIN for the 50th time so these self-serving leaders could then earn jewels in their crowns by re-saving all our souls. Crossing out the date you’re saved 50 times in your Gideon New Testament because NEVER do those teachers teach assurance and grace… if you doubt say the prayer again, again and again. These schools were set up with good intentions and I’m still thankful I got this version vs the government school version of education but they still got a whole lot wrong.
Your story needs to be told.
( Just remember there are good homeschoolers today. We homeschool our kiddos and all the family’s I know here in MN are doing a great job giving their kids a quality education.)
Hugs,
J.Mcfadden
Jill and Derrick, you have a beautiful love story and darling family. I remember watching your courtship and wedding with my little girls. We admire your desire to share Jesus with others and overseas mission work. It couldn’t have been easy, but you both did an excellent job speaking hard truths in the recent documentary. Together you have so much strength and poise even while speaking about abuse and heartache. So many people have been harmed by the IBLP. It is high time the truth came out and that as Chrsitians we openly condemn the wrong doing. You did the right thing. I’m looking forward to reading your book!
Wow. “Have I now become your enemy because I tell you the truth”?!?!
Jill has in NO WAY DISHONORED her parents. The TRUTH, THEIR DECEPTION, and THEIR OUTRIGHT ABUSE is THEIR SHAME, PROBLEM, and DISHONOR – NOT HERS. And JBD PROVIDED HIS OWN PROOF … IN BLACK AND WHITE … of his deep greed, lies, manipulation, and belief that “his” family are nothing more than trade-able commodities to him. I. LOVE. THAT.
MEN of GOD are NOT LIARS, THIEVES AND ABUSERS.
How DARE we turn around and make her a victim again and again because she exposed demonic treatment of her AND her innocent siblings. That is as twisted as her parents’ theology and abuse.
Jim Bob “Daddy Duggar” has ZERO EXCUSE before a HOLY GOD …
“For the wrath of God is revealed from heaven against all ungodliness and unrighteousness of men, who hold the truth in unrighteousness; Because that which may be known of God is manifest in them; for God hath shewed it unto them.” Romans 1:18-19
Jill: I encourage you to hold your head high. Cling to, serve and honor God with your whole heart. You have a new, God given, beautiful family to love, embrace, serve and honor.
Jim Bob’s and Josh’s shame are NOT YOURS TO BEAR OR CARRY!!!