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Q&A: Family, Science & Enneagrams!

In this Q&A video we answer the following questions:

Is going from side hugging to marriage awkward at first?

You’ve expanded much of your thinking…curious, how old do you think the earth is?

If you ever have a daughter will you raise her not to have to rely on a man?

Do y’all ever visit the big house?

Cats or dogs?

Plans for more kids? Adoption or biological?

Are you invited to the events that happen at the big house?

What are your enneagram types?

Favorite ice cream?

Don’t see your question here? Watch our 6 previous Q&A videos in our “Q&A Sessions” playlist here on our channel!

Have more questions you’d like answered in a future Q&A? Drop them in the comments below!

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50 Comments

  1. Sandra

    Jill are you “allowed “ to have a job outside the home , not family related or any of the daughters. I know you studied midwife but have you continued education or other.

    Reply
  2. Brenda

    Will you get the Covid vaccine

    Reply
    • Anna

      What are your thoughts on spanking ? How do you discipline your boys? Is it very different than how you were raised?

      Reply
  3. J

    Do you have plans for Derick to practice law locally?

    Reply
  4. Athena

    Jill do you see your parents on a regular basis?
    Would you guys ever write a book together about being on the show and how it affected you both?

    Reply
  5. Ema beth

    I love these Q&A sessions with you guys. Especially hearing that you have different opinions with each other. My husband and I don’t see eye to eye politically as it’s caused so any disagreements. Do you agree on politics?

    Also, you said you’re invited to the big house but don’t go. I totally get that (I have a similar family) and it’s important to keep boundaries and stay away.

    Reply
  6. Anna

    Great Q and A! I have 3 questions:

    1. Do you have any family members that you are not in contact with at all? Is that painful? How do you deal with it?

    2. What sibling are you closest to?

    3. What are your thoughts on divorce? Any circumstances where you guys feel it is necessary and acceptable?

    Reply
  7. DeNeigh

    How do you navigate friendships with friends who might be of another faith? For example someone who might be a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints?

    Reply
  8. KatherINe

    What post-COVID vacation are you looking forward to?

    Reply
  9. AdDie

    Hi Jill, do you have any plans to continue your education or get certified in a trade?

    Reply
  10. Betsy

    Time to stop talking over each other and interrupting each other. You both have valid points. Let each other talk! Glad you are removing yourselves from the toxic relationships with the big house. I know it must be uncomfortable but you have lots of supporters behind you. You have come so far. Don’t look back, Jill. Some day in the future some of your siblings may see the light and realize how much better off you are. Help and support their journeys away from the IBLP mentality but don’t get sucked back in or made to feel guilty for the choices you have made. Your father would love nothing better than to see that happen to you. We all kniw what is going on. Your parents aren’t fooling most people. Keep up the good work.

    Reply
  11. Aluson

    Will you ever write a tell all book about your life?

    Reply
  12. Kay

    I find it interesting that you hold to the inerrancy of scripture but yet consult the enneagram. It has satanic roots and is shocking how it has caught hold of many unsuspecting Christian women. TheBereanMillennial on IG has good information to learn more. Believers should beware of the enneagram.

    Reply
    • Kat

      I want to know your Meyers-Briggs types too!
      (Also, glad to see you doing well, growing and learning together as individuals. That’s really nice to see. Wishing you all the best).

      Reply
    • Erin Smith

      The first enneagram I ever saw, looked like a lot like a pentagram. That is what told me to stay far, far away.

      Reply
    • Amanda

      What was something that surprised you, Jill, about going from a house with a lot of people to just a home with you and Derrick (or the two of you and kids)?

      Reply
    • JennIfer

      Agreed! This really surprised me, given the growth they said they have experienced They might as well be consulting astrology charts and signs. I would encourage them to listen to Marcia Montenegro’s testimony…several solid Christian podcasts have had her on to discuss the dangers of the enneagram (Alisa Childers, Allie Beth Stuckey, Cultish, and I’m sure there are other testimonies/research shared on the topic).

      Reply
  13. ROSEMARIE

    Hi Jill do you guys have a close relationship with any of the married siblings ? Does your mom and dad come over your house to see the boys?

    Reply
  14. Catherine

    – Do you believe that dinosaurs existed? What makes you believe the Bible over tangible evidence of an old earth like fossils?
    – Are there any myths about your family that you wish to dispel?
    – What made you more comfortable wearing clothes that were once considered “immodest” when you were growing up?
    – Do you (Jill) plan on going back to school for anything?
    – What do believe is the biggest advantage to public school that homeschooling cannot provide?
    – In what ways has therapy helped you?
    – Do you believe in blanket training?

    Reply
  15. S

    Jill, do you intend to work outside the home at some point? No shade either way, I’m a SAHM myself. Just curious. If yes, what would you like to do?

    Reply
  16. Gladys

    Do you ever talk to your parents anymore? Not necessarily in person but over the phone or on video chat?

    Reply
  17. Calie

    How will you handle your son learning about certain things in school you do not agree with? (Like health class, evolution, Darwin?)

    Reply
  18. Cathy

    I really liked this video! It was nice seeing both of your personalities shine through lol. Jill-where did you get your earrings and necklace? I’m not religious, but don’t most Christians avoid Enneagrams?

    Reply
    • Regina Shea

      Hi Jill! What are your favorite crafts you like doing or craft you would like to try? I enjoy crocheting but I would like to try painting.

      Reply
  19. Betty

    Do you have any future plans to do more mission work in another country?

    Reply
  20. Linda

    Jill are you speaking with all your family? If not, what would the Lord say about that?

    Reply
  21. Kat

    What are your favorite books?

    Reply
  22. Gwen

    Jill- aside from the money aspect of it, how has involvement with a reality TV show impacted your parents, yourself, and siblings? Would you say the benefits outweighed the disadvantages?

    Reply
  23. Julie

    While I know you are raising your children as children of Jesus and God, how do you think you would react if your children decide as adults to distance themselves from religion?

    Also, are there any rumors, stereotypes or assumptions that you think people have of you that you would like to dispel?

    I love watching your videos and seeing how much you both have grown as a couple.

    Reply
  24. Jackie

    I have a few different questions for the next Q &A! if you pick all, one, or none:

    * Jill, have any of your siblings shown any interest in incorporating some of the changes you made for yourself/marriage into their own lives? or turned to you for advice on how or why?

    *Derick, is there anything from how you were raised that you want to incorporate into your own family?

    *Jill, do you ever look back on some of your parents’ past reactions to certain things and disagree with it now? Example when you and Derick first hugged at the airport it was a “front hug” and your parents seemed less than pleased. One of your younger brothers danced at a consignment store when a toy went off and again, your father didn’t seem amused by it.

    *do you find yourself compared to the Bates family and how “progressive” they have become? (Josie starting a business, some not getting married in a church, all the girls started wearing pants/shorts once married)

    Reply
  25. Tara

    What are your thoughts on Independent Fundamental Baptist? Do you believe you were raised in a cult?

    I ask because I attend an IFB church, but don’t hold to all of their convictions. And many who grew up in IFB churches and leave the church think it’s a cult.

    Reply
  26. Dixie

    I hope you mend your relationship with your parents. Life is too short to hold grudges. I’ve lost 5 family members within 2 years. I miss my parents so very much. So my question to you is it both of you that have problems with your family or just one of you. Is it worth it to be so public with it. Some things just don’t need to be broadcast.

    Reply
  27. Heidi Montoya

    Do your children memorize scripture?

    Have you considered AWANA?

    Have you considered BSF (Bible Study Fellowship International)? They have great programs for kids and adults. Everyone gets a sheet of weekly questions that get into the meat of the Bible. Then weekly discussion meetings.

    Reply
  28. Stacey

    Hi there! I have a few questions:

    1.) Do you believe the 6 days were actual 24-hour days, or perhaps they could have been much larger periods of time that was considered a “day?” That would make the Earth much older and support the idea of fossils from a creationist point of view.

    2.) What advice could you offer to other fundamental baptists like myself who feel outcast from their families for not following their families views entirely? As a Christian, I feel confused and alone from these actions.

    3.) Do you still consider yourselves Trump supporters, after the last four years? It looks like Jill has embraced the current administration on social media. No judgment from me at all (as I am anti-Trump), but I am genuinely curious if you do and how that affects your relationships? (This is part of the reason I’ve lost so much family relationships.)

    Reply
  29. Jen

    Questions! I’m a musician and I always liked the music parts of your show.

    Jill, do you still play your instruments? And do I remember Derick playing guitar?

    Also, what are your music education plans for your kids?

    Reply
  30. Erin Smith

    Would you ever consider cutting your hair short? Like a chin length bob short? I used to have really long hair. I didn’t believe other women when they told me how easy short hair is. It’s liberating

    Reply
  31. E

    Jill, what do you think about, Melanie K., that writes the Duggar family fan blog. Why do your parents let a fan write a blog about them? Do you give her information about your family or does that all come from your parents? I’ve really enjoyed your Q and A’s and YouTube videos.

    Reply
  32. Erin Smith

    Please block Nancy Farkas on your YouTube Channel. She is just a bitter and vicious old hag. She called Jill a liar. She also fights and calls people names in your comment section. She does the same nasty thing on the Counting On Facebook page. When you defend yourself and fight back. She plays the victim and reports you for bullying. Even though she started it and she is the nastiest piece of work, ever.
    PS. Love your channel

    Reply
  33. Annamaria

    here’s a question for you: what would you do if one of your kids told you he’s not religious but atheist instead?

    Reply
  34. Maddie

    Jill
    You mention that you haven’t been to your parent’s house in years….somehow I think this rift between your parents and your husband has gone to far……with Derrick’s dad gone, what are you going to do to fix your relationship with your parents before they pass? Aren’t you realizing how childish you are being by not having a relationship with them…..and over MONEY? Get a JOB and then you won’t have MONEY issues.

    Reply
  35. Cheryl

    Do you still have to wear a modest swimsuit like the ones you wore on 19 kids and counting

    Reply
  36. Tricia

    Hi Jill and Derek,

    What are your views on dancing, specifically ballet and tap dancing?

    Reply
  37. Liz H.

    —What do you think of the idea “You can take the Bible seriously, but don’t have to take it literally.”

    — Have you ever had discussions or talks about what your reaction would be if one of your family members or children came out as LGBT?

    — What’a your take on the fact that only 47% of American Adults belong to a religious institution (per Gallup Poll)

    Reply
  38. Chrystal

    Do your children have to call you ma’am and sir? I noticed in your obedience training they had to say yes ma’am. Just wondering if that’s for people outside the home are you and Derek? I work too hard at being a mom to be called anything else. LOL

    Reply
  39. T.W.

    I can totally relate to setting boundaries when it comes to family. I have recently had to do the same just for my own sanity. This video really hit home for me in a multitude of ways.

    Reply
  40. Olivia

    Will you be talking to your kids about how to be anti-racist?

    Are there still family members you’re close to?

    Is there anything you wish you could change about your upbringing? What changes have you made already for your family?

    What has been your favorite part of marriage?

    What surprised you about each other?

    How do you handle disagreements and fights? Have you ever considered leaving each other? If so, how did you handle it?

    Reply
  41. Sue

    Hello to you both! Recently a couple of the Bates daughters have said they kissed before marriage – were you surprised or is this topic exaggerated for TV?

    Reply
  42. Wren

    Congratulations to Derick on his law school graduation! My question is what other things were exaggerated on the show, I wonder specifically wearing of skirts.
    Did you really always have to wear skirts 100% of the time, even if you were cold or sick, instead of any sweatpants, lounge pants, pajama bottoms etc?
    I applaud the example you set of leaving and cleaving with grace and dignity.

    Reply
  43. Lila

    I’m sure you’ve been asked before, but I’m really curious. I know you both have decided to send Israel to public school, I think you also said something about still respecting those who choose homeschooling. But what are your current opinions of IBLP and the ATI homeschool education Jill grew up with? Jill, did you feel you received an adequate education through that program and did your experience influence your decision to not use the ATI method?

    Reply

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